A Lesson in Desire Bonus Chapter

Set the following Spring, after the events of A Lesson in Desire.

‘I think I might actually throw up on my wedding dress.’

‘Adora.’

‘I’m being serious, Iris.’

‘So am I.’ My best friend crouches in front of me, hands resting on my knees, her face entirely too calm for someone whose best friend is experiencing a full-body emotional catastrophe. ‘You’re not going to be sick,’ she says, her bright green eyes fixed on mine. ‘But if you are, I’ll personally hold your hair back, clean you up, and make sure you still look beautiful when you walk down that aisle.’

I stare at her. She stares back. ‘You promise?’ My voice sounds small.

Her expression softens. ‘Always.’

Just like that, my eyes fill with tears.

‘Oh, for goodness’ sake.’ Iris lets out a tiny laugh and rises to her feet, gathering the skirt of her pale pink dress as she sits beside me on the velvet sofa. I’ve never seen Iris in pink before, and doubt I ever will again. Her face when I told her the wedding colour scheme… well, it went a similar shade.

‘You haven’t even married him yet,’ she says, ‘and you’re already crying.’

‘I can’t help it,’ I say, sniffling.

‘I know, Dor, but I’m with you. I’m walking in front of you, so if you feel sick, just look at me. And trust me, I’ve grilled your dad enough that he knows to hold on tight and not let you trip.’

For a while, it was touch and go whether my parents would even attend the wedding. But they’ve changed a lot this past year. Turns out having your only daughter narrowly escape death not once, but twice brought out their softer side. Iris wraps an arm around my shoulders, and I lean into her, careful not to crease the delicate lace of my dress.

Outside, the sky is a soft, cloudless blue. The courtyard is in full bloom, and the clocktower casts long shadows across the garden in the late-morning sunshine. Pink peonies – my favourite – climb the archway where Theo and I will say our vows in less than an hour.

Less than an hour.

I’m getting married in less than an hour.

‘Dora,’ Iris says, clearly sensing my spiral beginning anew. ‘Breathe.’ I suck in a deep breath just as someone knocks at the door.

‘Girls?’ A familiar voice comes from the other side. ‘Are you in here?’

‘Yep!’ Iris calls.

Archer appears in the doorway, eyes squeezed shut. ‘Are you both decent?’

I bark a laugh. ‘Yes, we’re decent. Get in here!’

He steps inside, opens his eyes, and looks between us and our dresses. ‘Wow, Adora, you look beautiful.’ My cheeks heat at the compliment. He turns to his girlfriend. ‘Iris, you’re okay,’ he adds teasingly.

She stands and playfully shoves him. ‘You’re alright too, I suppose.’ They look resplendent in their bridesmaid and groomsman outfits. I love Iris more than I know how to put into words. She’s been my person since the day she walked into my dorm room. The girl who sacrifices so much for her friends, who sat beside me on the bathroom floor while I cried night after night over Rory. She knows every version of me, from the chaotic mess in bunny slippers to the young woman terrified to believe something good could last.

And now she’s here, standing beside me on the morning I marry the love of my life. Not just as my maid of honour, but as my sister in every way that matters.

I turn to look at her properly, taking in her dark hair that has been pinned into soft curls and the tiny pearl earrings she borrowed from her aunt. Her eyes shimmer, as though she’s having similar thoughts, and I point a finger at her, frowning.

‘Don’t you dare.’

She raises her hands. ‘I’m not! It’s just rather aggressive hay fever.’

We both laugh, and Archer rolls his eyes. ‘I have something for you,’ he says, ‘courtesy of the groom.’

He holds up a brown paper bag I hadn’t noticed him carrying.

‘Is that—’

‘Sure is.’

I’m on my feet in seconds, nearly tripping over my dress as I snatch the bag and tear into the croissant.

‘Be careful!’ Iris squeaks. ‘No flakes on the dress!’

‘He knew you’d be too nervous to eat anything,’ Archer laughs.

‘Well,’ I say between mouthfuls, ‘you can… tell him…’ I swallow. ‘That I’ve eaten.’

Archer smiles, his stormy eyes catching the light. ‘I’ll give him a detailed report.’ He pulls me into a hug. ‘See you out there,’ he whispers, before kissing Iris and slipping out the door.

For a moment, the room falls quiet after Archer leaves, then Iris takes my hands and gives them a squeeze. ‘Right. One croissant down, no vomit on the dress. I’d say we’re doing brilliantly.’

Another knock sounds at the door, softer this time. When it opens, my dad steps inside. He stops just over the threshold.

‘Oh, sweetheart.’ My throat tightens and my eyes sting. Both my parents know they have a lot of making up to do to fully mend our relationship, but having them here… I’m so happy. Dad crosses the room and takes my hands, looking me over with a smile that wobbles at the edges. ‘You look beautiful, darling.’

‘Please don’t make me cry.’

Dad laughs, pulling me into a careful hug. For a moment, I let myself sink into it, breathing in the scent of his aftershave and trying to remember how to breathe normally.

Then I hear distant music and my stomach flips.

‘Ready?’ Dad asks.

Absolutely not.

Iris gives me a reassuring look and kisses my cheek before slipping out to take her place, leaving Dad and me alone for a few precious seconds. He offers me his arm, and I take it, smoothing my palms over the front of my dress.

‘He’s a good man, Theo,’ Dad says quietly.

My eyes fill again. ‘I know.’

‘And he loves you very much. I can tell.’

‘I know, Dad.’

He kisses my forehead. ‘I’m sorry for not being here. Before.’ Tears swell in his eyes.

I look up at him. ‘I’m just glad you’re here now.’

He sniffs subtly. ‘Then let’s go get you married.’

As we emerge into the Stonewall courtyard and to the grassy area beyond, sunlight spills across the aisle, and every face turns towards me. Beyond the rows of guests, beneath the archway of pink peonies, stands Theo.

He looks devastatingly handsome, but it’s his face that undoes me. The way his smile falters as his eyes meet mine. The way he presses a hand to his chest, as though seeing me has knocked the air from his lungs.

And just like that, the nerves retreat and I can breathe again.

Dad guides me forward, and I barely notice the guests or the flowers or the music. All I see is the man waiting for me at the end of the aisle.

The man I nearly lost. The man who found his way back to me. The man I get to love for the rest of my life.

When we reach him, Dad kisses my cheek and sits down beside my mother. Theo’s fingers close around mine, warm and steady.

‘Hi Preppy,’ he whispers, his eyes shining.

I laugh through my tears. ‘Hi.’

Standing here, with him, surrounded by everyone I love…

I feel like finally, I’m home.